Dr. Mommy Rader Answers...

Okay, blogdom...it's that day! Dr. Mommy Rader answers ALL your questions...all one of them :) Come on blogdom...you can do better than that, can't you??

I did have one very good question from Mr. Matthew. Matthew writes: "I have always wondered if there is a concrete rule about age differences in dating or if it is different for everyone. Is there a good guideline or does anything go? I, 25, would be comfortable dating girls between 20-26. What do you think?

Excellent question! While your question isn't posing a huge age difference by any means, I do wish to address that before I get to your specific age preferences. Interestingly enough, it is encouraged in some societies and cultures for a younger female to marry a much older gentleman, and in fact seems to work well for those societies. Obviously weastern culture doesn't encourage either way, however one cannot help but notice that most couples they know are older male (not necessarily much older) coupled with a female younger than themselves. And concerning same-age relationships (which some might find ideal) one resource actually goes as far as to say that same-age relationships are perfect for friendships, but not for lasting marital relationships. And while I will refer to the marriage relationship a lot in this answer, I believe marriage and dating are one in the same in regards to age differences and how they affect relationships. Moreover, it has been discovered that a significant age difference (say 10 years or so) makes huge differences in the dynamics of a marital relationship, making clashes more likely-especially if the women is older. And with a relationship with such an age difference "especially for younger men and older women," it has been shown that these significant age differences "affect the quality of spousal relationships with diminished values thus resulting in more tension." Now again I noticed for you that you weren't really willing to date a woman much older than you, so perhaps that doesn't apply specifically for you, but might for someone else out there. It is interesting to note however, that this particular site states that when the reverse is true and the husband is significantly older than the wife that the relationship is "more likely to break up" than if the couple were close in age, or even if the woman was significantly older as previously discussed. So, with all that said, what is the "perfect" age difference, if there is one? Accoring to this great site I discovered on-line called 'Dating Match Makers.Com', "the perfect age difference which has proved to work out best is when the husband is five years older than his wife." Anyone out there vouch for that? I cannot as my husband is only a year older than me, but please let me know if you think the success of your marriage has been based on the age difference between you and your spouse. Now, back to your question, Matthew :) All that really makes sense when you think about the maturity aspect. And I think that's what the site is really talking about. Huge age differences would HAVE to pose a difference in maturity levels. That would be common sense. And according to this site your age differences would be more than appropriate. And in my opinion (after all...that's what you REALLY want to know, right?), I think that dating a women 5 years younger than you, same age, or older would be just fine. If she's the woman for you then I say go for it! Just, don't be, ahem..."robbing the cradle" as they say :) I would say definitely no younger than 20...then you're just getting into a ton of drama that you don't really need. Take if from a girl who knows. Thank you again for that delightful question, and I hope somehwere in my extremely long ramble I answered it!!

For more information on where I got my "facts" check out www.datingmatchmakers.com/wedding/age-difference-in-relationship.aspx

And now for the good news: I FINALLY HAVE A JOB!!!! I don't think I shared this with blogdom, but I have been looking for a job since mid-December so that Justin can stay home and spend most of his time and energy on the church. Before, he was trying to juggle family, Subway, and all the church entails (which can be a lot sometimes) and it was really difficult on our growing family. We needed him here and he wanted to be here more and wasn't able to...especially since we had another little one in the house. So, today I had my first day at the Holiday Inn Express. I work at the front desk of a hotel!!!! And while today was officially my first training day, I think I'll enjoy it. It was a bit overwhelming just having everything thrown at me all at one, but I think with some proper training and lots of experiene (and who am I kidding....a TON of prayer!) that I will thouroughly enjoy this job. However....it's hard being away from my kids during the day *sniff*. I love the "big girl" conversations I get to have during the day, as opposed to baby ga-ga and toddler language, but I sure do miss my kids when I'm away from them. I praise the Lord for this huge answer to prayer!!!

Remember to send me your questions!!! Until next time......