Doctor(s) n. 1 Big people with little brains who walk around all day doing absolutely nothing except for wear big white jackets (which look ridiculous by the way), and pretend to know what they're talking about. 2 An extremely insensitive jerk who has no bedside manner whatsoever.
And these so called "doctors" had the wonderful priviledge of shooting me up with a shot and sending me neatly on my way with "oh...it's normal to miscarry twice." Like they know. To which I responded through clenched teeth, "so when is it abnormal?" The wise doctor looks at me like I'm stupid and responds with "Three or more." So...I think to myself...you're trying to tell my that just because I've only struck out twice that I'm still "normal." And the only cure for being so stinkin "normal" is to "keep trying" (see last post for definition). Well, if this is normal, I'd hate so see what abnormal is!
I know I shouldn't complain. I've seen how women have misarried three, four, even five times and then gone on to have a healthy pregnancy...but I don't want to be one of them. I'm torn between trying to be thankful for not miscarrying so much, and grieving for the two children I have lost. What a sad world motherhood can be. What a roller coaster trying to conceive can be. And it never fails. Almost to the day that I find out I'm miscarrying, one of my friends calls to tell me the "good news..." that "we're pregnant!!!" And it's my friendly duty to smile and with all the gusto and happiness I can muster, congratulate my newly pregnant mom. And I am happy for them...but I can't deny that a part of me feels cheated, left out, and somewhat envious. Okay, okay. A LOT envious.
My time will come, and when it does, watch out miracle baby, cause your mama's gonna hang on to you like it's nobody's business.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
It's official....I strongly dislike (hate, for the laymen) doctors!!!
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8 comments:
Hi Jess,
I'm so saddened to hear of your difficulties with miscarriages.
I'm in Australia, and someone newly embarking on the married life, hoping for children.
I've been reading up on pregnancy and also coming across miscarriage.
It's one of those things that's never talked about and people seem to feel almost ashamed.
I'm just puzzled as to why there is a lack of seriousness about it and why doctors really do seem to disregard it.
What a loss to have, and there should be more awareness in the medical sector about that fact.
I wish you all the best in the future, and hope you take heart in the fact that many more people are also puzzled about the blase attitude of some medical staff, and feel similarly as you.
Justin and Jess,
I thought about you guys today and prayed for you today, and then I found your blog. Because I believe in my Lord, I am going to pray tonight for your next child.
Josh
Rader, I miss you man
We're praying as well for your next baby. We believe that the day will soon arrive when you concieve a healthy pregnancy that carries to term. We pray that day is VERY close! Our hearts grieve with yours, and we will continue to lift you and your future baby up in prayers.
PS What shot did they give you????
I am RH negative (blood type) so they have to give me a shot so that my body doesn't attack the baby. I had one at 28 weeks when I was pg with Gabe, and then depending on what blood type he had I would have had to have one after delivery, but I didn't :) So after every pg I need to have one just to make sure. I think it's called a Rogam (sp?) shot.
Also I need to have one during every pg at about 28 weeks too...
Oh, Ok...my friend, Sarah has that too....but I don't really understand the whole shot AFTER pregnancy thing....?
I guess it's supposed to protect you in your next pregnancy? I don't know...I just "bend over" if you know what I mean... :)
Jess It has been a long time and I am not sure if you remember me from BBC last year or not. Dean worked there for a year in the computer department. I will be praying for you. This is an extremely difficult time I am sure and you have every right to grieve and to feel a little cheated as you get the calls about other friends expecting. I pray God's grace, peace, favour and blessing upon you and Justin and Gabe. I pray God will help you as you grieve these two precious babies and that He will give you more precious babies like Gabe that carry to term and are healthy. From the little I learned of you and your family while in Sussex, you are an awesome wife and mother and a true woman of God. Hold on to Him and keep believing. I am praying with you for a little miracle for you very soon. Brenda Landry
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