Drama-Free Zone, Anyone???

At times, I've considered tattooing a sign on my forehead: Drama Free Zone. And lately, sans the tattoo, it seems as though I've been living up to my, what I term, high expectations. Work, however, has seemed to have missed my invisible memo. What job doesn't, though? There's ministry for one. LOTS of drama. Where there's people...there will be drama. Then there's motherhood. No exposition needed (as moms everywhere nod in agreement). All in all, though, I have managed to make it through and come out relatively unscathed. All that said, for those of you who don't know, I put my two weeks notice in at work last week. I was nervous to do it, but it had to be done. Despite the fact that I love my job and it is right up my alley people/skills/enjoyment wise, I can't seem to rise above the fact that people will be people. I've always been one to believe the best in people. I believe that Jesus Himself demonstrated this. People deserve second chances. But there's a difference in being walked on, lied to, and deceived. I went from assuming that people weren't lying to me (customers and co-workers), to assuming they were lying. I didn't like that. I was often expected to bend the truth and flat out lie. One situation in particular really hurt me and while that's not why I quit my job, it certainly effected me. I did, however, quit my job because I miss being home with the kids. I can't get past the fact that I believe being home with the kids has been deeply ingrained in my heart by none other than my Creator. Some might call this crazy, but it really is a calling in this season of my life to be a stay at home mom. I will miss work sometimes, and here's why: Being at work cleared my mind and forced me to focus on things other than home, kids and family. I was exposed to the world and its make-up. It was mentally therapeutic for me. The relationships I made will remain current. I don't know if it was the right decision to work or not. I don't have the sense that I shouldn't have been at my job. But I do have the keen sense now that I need to be home. I missed way too much of Elijah's development during his important first year. I think that has been cause for his insane clinging. Gabriel is really at that wonderful stage where he is trying my patience like I never thought it could be tried. My new favorite prayer is "Lord....PAHLEASE give me patience." Strangling him has been in my mental vocabulary more than once! (I kid of course...you never know who reads this thing...a bored social worker, perhaps???) I wonder if his recent behavior has sprung from me simply not being there and the inconsistency that brings, or is there really a terrible 3's stage far worse that the terrible 2's??? Because quite frankly....2 was cake compared to what's on the horizon lately! I think I will write a book titled, 'When Time-Outs (and removal of all possessions) Is Never Enough.' Once I compile a solution of course to training toddlers sans spanking/yelling/and crying (me not him!). So from what my boss has told me, I should be done working by the beginning of October. Justin, however, has no work on the horizon. He is looking and it's possible (faintly) that he might be taking the audit position at where I work now. His shift would be 11pm to 7am a few nights a week. This would be ideal as he would be able to start right away and we could keep the contacts I made at work. My boss and I have a unique relationship where I can call her up and the kids and I can go out to lunch with her. She's offered to take Gabriel to events that I'm not able to go to. She has embraced my family and thinks highly of Justin (at least that's my impression :P ). But.....it's hard to tell at this stage of the game if that is indeed where his next job will be. So we'll see. I am looking forward to once again joining the ranks of others who remain home all day doing what I term as the most imporant job in the world. 'Job' doesn't even accurately describe it....maybe calling does. It's a compulsion. A drive and a need even though it's difficult sometimes...often times. The rewards it heaps however, reach far beyond the most accurate description. And it's not for everyone I know. Those who are not able to stay home and want to, or those who have no desire to stay home face the same drives and compulsions...just in different directions. I am priviledged to be able to do something I believe I should do. Okay...I'll get of my soap-box now. I'm sure I've lost half if not most of my reading audience with this topic anyhow!

And in the future: Gabe has some medical issues he's been dealing with that we will hopefully have an answer to soon. I don't know if I've shared on blogdom, but for the past few months he's been complaining of his stomach hurting (in the same place he had is surgical incision last year...lower right abdomen). At first he would only do it when he was in trouble, so we didn't think anything of it. He would just be crying because he had to have a time-out and tell us his belly hurt. We'd acknowledge it but that was pretty much it. I even sort of thought he was just doing it for attention since it only seemed to hurt when he was in trouble. Well...recently he started crying when urinating, saying his belly hurt, and it even went as far as him waking up in the middle of the night crying about his belly. That worried me, so I took him to the doctor. They did a urine analysis, x-ray, ultrasound, and blood-work. All came back fine, except his keytones (and I still haven't received his lead results yet). His keytones were low, which the doctor said meant he wasn't getting enough fluids I guess (even though he drinks constantly)...so they said push the fluids and take another urine sample. We did that yesterday. Also, the doctor said he'd try one last thing before sending him to a GI specialist....a rectal exam and a.... laxative?? Apparently in case he was feeling pain due to constipation (even though I assured the doc his bowel movements were always regular). The entire time during the rectal exam Gabe was screaming "I HAVE TO POOP MOMMY!!!" over and over again, while the doctor was talking loudly over him (virtually impossible to do without yelling) "NO YOU DON'T...THIS IS HOW IT FEELS WHEN YOU HAVE A RECTAL EXAM!" To which I'm sure Gabe would have responded had he not been so violated-"Oh, okay doctor I'm glad you cleared that up." Poor guy. I was just trying not to laugh the whole time while holding Gabe down and assuring him that he could go poop when he was done. So he's been on this laxative the last week or so and he's still been complaining of his stomach hurting. Yesterday we went walking and he complained that he couldn't walk because his belly was hurting and demanded/whined/cried to be carried. So he has a follow up appointment with his doctor this Thursday to see if the laxative worked. I will be telling him no! Looks like he'll be seeing a GI specialists. His doctor also told us to call his surgeon and follow-up there. We'll be heading there with his x-rays and ultrasound pictures for them to evaluate next Friday. So for now I have no idea what's wrong with my little guy. Other than the occasional complaint/crying about his belly hurting his is completely normal. Okay maybe not normal as I've been complaining to Justin lately...that is NOT my Gabriel. He's been SO different. Mean, hateful, hitting things, spitting...completely weirdo. I've been in tears about this as I'm so concerned. He's always so sweet and loving! Needless to say....a big reason why I feel I need to be home!! So I have no answers for now. Hopefully the doctors will call and tell me his keytones are fine and his surgeon will have some answers for us next Friday. I can't stand to see my baby in pain and have no answers. I will update as I learn! Oh and I almost forgot...today he's developed a really weird rash all over his leg! What next???? Kids are calling....