38 Weeks

Well I'm still pregnant and still here (which is fine with me actually since I think 38 weeks is a perfect week to have a baby). I am hoping she's all healthy and developed and just getting ready to pop out any day. Everything is all ready for her. I am as high strung on nerves and nesting as any one pregnant woman should be. A place for everything and everything in its place. Hard to maintain with a toddler and a very active 4 year old. Despite the fact that I own a dishwasher, I haven't used it in a month. I wash dishes about 10 times a day. Anything and everything that might even be remotely dirty...in the sink to be washed immediately. So, instead of doing dishes, say...oh...ONCE after a meal, I do them 2 or 3 times. I'm really trying to refrain however, and just fill the sink until all the dirty dishes are present and ready to be washed in one load. It's harder than it sounds. Trust me. In fact, I think I need a vacation from myself. And ironically I've been so exhausted that even nesting doesn't appeal anymore (quite a statement coming from me if you think about it...). I just want to relax and enjoy these last few moments as a family of four before we add another and I get less sleep, struggle with nursing (and everything else that comes with a newborn) and try to do it all alone. Why I want to jump into that with as exhausted as I feel is a mystery. Perhaps the greatest mystery of motherhood. But I cannot stop obsessing about her. About her smell. About the way she looks. I cannot stop imagining how cute her toes and her little nose are. And I cannot stop hoping she comes soon. As far as a pregnancy update goes...she's engaged and dropped. Been that way since last week. My midwives can feel only neck still, she's LOA and most likely another 7-8 lber. I still think more like high 6 but that's most likely wishful thinking on my part! I don't think I have it in me to grow a tiny babe. I've been drinking my Red Raspberry Leaf tea in preparation for labor but other than that I think I'm just going to play it cool and let her come on her own. No "trying" to get her to come. She'll come when she's ready and if anything I have a peace about that. So, hopefully I won't have a 39 week update for you, but an amazing birth story and pictures of our little princess!